All my life I've been in pain. I can remember nights when I was little where I would sit in my mom's lap and sob for hours because of the pain in my legs. And gradually, I stopped being able to feel it. I now have an extremely high tolerance for pain because I'm so used to it. Everything is just a kind of dull ache. It's going to take a long time for me to get better.
People hear this and their eyes widen and some form of "wow" comes out. Yet they're living with the same thing in a different form. Everyone is born with a soul that is more messed up than my spine is. That's saying a lot. When I was younger I knew something was wrong with me. People often comment on how children are so innocent and vulnerable. There's a reason for that; they haven't gotten used to the pain yet.
When I would cry so much about my legs, my mom would go to doctors. Repeatedly, they assured us that my symptoms were "normal" and just part of "growing up." They said nothing was wrong with me. As children grow up, the world continually tells them that certain things are "normal" and that they are just fine. So children continue on with their problems unsolved. They get used to the pain and block out the sting of their conscience more and more skillfully, until they grow up and guilt is just a constant ache.
Remember when you thought you would never steal? And then you stole something and it was that much easier the next time? Remember when you were little and you couldn't get away with telling lies cause you were so obvious? Then you got practice.
We just kinda get to the point where doing certain things hurts just a tiny bit, but since you're constantly hurting, you don't mind too much.
But of course, every now and then, "life happens," and you are in pain. And once again you find yourself up at night, crying because something is not right. It took severe prolonged pain to finally send me to a different doctor. He looked at me and said, "Honestly, you're a mess. but I can fix this."
Jesus was called the Great Physician for a reason.
I can't adjust my own back any more than you can save your own soul. Humans are sinful. You have done wrong things that mess you up like nose diving into a concrete floor does. God looks at you and says, "You're messed up. You can't do anything to fix yourself. But I can, and I really want to. Matter of fact, I want to so much that I sacrificed my own Son on a cross and brought Him back to life just for you."
We don't deserve the attentions or help of God. We have no right to Him or His skill because we are so sick. We can't pay the fee to see the doctor. But that's what Jesus' death on the cross was; He paid for you to have access to the Great Physician. All you need to do is accept Him and acknowledge both your guilt of all the bad things you've done and the fact that Jesus paid the price for them. Jesus said in Matthew 9:12-13, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. [...] For I came not to call the righteous but sinners."
God made you perfect but your sin messed that up and distanced you from God. You're not the only one. When the people who killed Jesus were confronted, "they were cut to the heart, and said "[...] what shall we do?" And peter said to them, "Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." -Acts 2:37-39
Our family has paid for a plan to see my doctor regularly so I have full access to him. But I still have to make the effort to go to him. I have to apply the diet and exercise guides he gives me. Same thing with God. Having access to a doctor won't help you get better. Going to him and following what he tells you to will. So use the opportunity provided to you.
If you're a Christian, then keep going to the Doctor. And don't just look at your friends who are still sick and place your comfort above their health. Talk to them. Tell them about this great Doctor you've found.
If you're not a Christian, if you're messed up, then what are you waiting for?
Repent. Believe.
"I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. [...] All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out. [...] And this is the will of Him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all He has given me, but raise it up on the last day. For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life and i will raise him up on the last day." -Jesus. John 6:35, 37,39-40
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